The Truth
by RadiationNinja
Summary: Not everyone gets a happy ending. Phil understands that now. *Language, Suicide, Depression*
1. Lie 1

**_I don't like you anymore!_**

Phil was hiding. He knew the truth, but he couldn't admit it. The truth was, he never really considered talking to Dan. But he didn't accept that. He knew he liked Dan, but he couldn't accept that, he just told himself that Dan was an annoying little sh*t, when in reality he loved the younger one's upbeat personality. He couldn't even accept his own sexuality, than how could he accept a stupid schoolgirl crush he had on a friend. But that was months ago. And that was the first lie he had told himself before he started being a compulsive liar. He now lied about nearly everything. It had been two months since he broke up with Daniel Howell. And he couldn't accept that he still loved him.

So what was Phil doing at a sh*tty high school party? He had no idea, but as he walked into the room, he noticed some people he recognised, including the usual groups of friends, Bob Muyskens, Wade Barnes, Mark Fischbach and Sean McLoughlin, who preferred to be called Jack, and was dating one of the most popular boys in the school, who was also on the football team, behind everyone's back, but most people already guessed, as they always hung out, since Mark wasn't like all the other douches on Ashburn High's football team. He also noticed other groups, especially the 'Popular' group, which consisted of Felix, who was Jack's best friend, Cry and Ken, Ken and Felix were the ones who had a podcast that nearly no one listened to unless Jack was on it, and Cry was dating Felix, but they weren't your stereotypical 'Popular Group' they were really nice.

But Phil wasn't really up to talking to them, as he had in his eyesight a particular brown haired sixteen year-old, who was currently talking to Guy who Phil didn't recognise. He decided not to disturb the conversation between his ex and a stranger, he saw some drama in corner of his eye, as one of the boys was hitting on Mark Fischbach's boyfriend, which was usual, and Phil might had even considered dating him as he was adorable, but he was in a relationship, and Mark hated people even touching his boy-toy as many people called Jack, he was considered really innocent and was bullied before. Phil just ignored the drama and the fact that he had stated that he would like to be dating the high school's 'Senpai'. He also saw Dan giggling profusely at something someone said, suddenly he felt someone sit beside him and he turned to see the one and only Jack. He seemed tired of this party and seemed to be wanting to go home.

"Hey!" He heard an accented voice say,

"Oh... Hi," Phil responded to what anyone else would call a bundle of adorableness, but not Phil, because Phil insisted that he wouldn't date anybody else,

"You should date Dan, you are totally my OTP, y'all are shipped by me and Mark," the blue-eyed leprechaun beside Phil responded. Phil immediately tensed, he and Dan were shipped by the high school sweethearts which everyone pretended they didn't know about.

"I don't know Dan that well," Phillip responded with uncertainty,

"That's bullsh*t and you know it, y'all were hanging out all the time earlier this year,""Well I don't like him." Phil lied and stood up from the table he was sitting at, and saw Mark walk over to his pet, who actually called him kitten, which got him flustered. But as Phil was lost in his own mind he bumped into said person with who he was shipped, Dan.

"Uh... Hi Phil you okay?" The cheating f*cker asked Phil,

"Yeah I'm fine." Phil snapped back at him, fury in his features, he heard a faint wolf whistle in the background as he lifted himself of the ground, wiping himself of, not bothering to help Dan.

"Alright, alright, alright!" He heard a familiar Swedish accent fill his ears, as soon as he said that the whole house was filled with noise again, well there were still the noises of the love-machines making out in the background while that happened, but the whole room was quiet.

He saw Felix help Dan up and turned to Phil,"I know what happened two months ago, and I'm leaving to go back to Sweden soon, so I dare you to get back together to be couples for three months, then I'm coming back and your getting fifty each," the Swede asked Phil and Dan, they looked at each other, mentally asking each other,

"Fine," Dan responded, all eyes were now on Phil, or that's how he thought,"Okay, but just know I don't like you anymore," Phil replied to both of them, Dan then kissed him and in the background an accented voice shouted out,

"You owe me twenty Marki!" The voice was obviously Jack, no one else was allowed to call Mark anything other than, well, 'Mark', Phil heard snickers coming from around the couple with swollen lips.

"Starting from tomorrow, we're a couple, understand?" Phil snapped at the brown-eyed man in front of him. The truth was, he wanted this relationship as soon as possible, and he couldn't wait until tomorrow, because the truth was, he was still in love with Dan, and he was willing to fake a relationship with him, for the sake of Felix. But he didn't do it for the sake of Felix, he done it for the sake of wanting to be in a relationship with the man that he broke up with two months ago.

But he didn't seem to mind that as he walked out of the party, which he was only at for one hour, and he wasn't the only one, Mark and Jack had gotten pretty sexually aroused while grinding on each other while making out, pretty hard to beat. But Phil didn't care, all he cared about at the moment was getting home, as he had only talked to three people ink the whole hour of a party and had gotten more accomplished than he think he accomplished his whole life before that.

But as Phil walked past a red sports car, which Mark Fischbach and his kitten were getting into, he heard a shout, coming from the car itself,"Hey Phil, wanna ride?" It was Mark and Phil assumed that Jack had told Mark to give him a lift,

"Nah, I'm good," Phil replied to Mark, to which he shrugged and drove away towards his house, which was were Phil was going now, his house, not Mark Fischbach's house, his own, on Adelaide street, to which he always used to walk to with Dan.

As Phil looked up into the sky and saw stars strewn across the sky he felt a hand tugging on his own, and noticed that it was his own brother, Greg, he knee he would be pulled in, so why didn't Phil see it coming, more importantly. Why did Phil shriek? But that question may remain unanswered but Phil decided that he had bigger problems to work on, including the one that told him that he didn't do his homework for tomorrow. It was gonna be a long night.

 _-there won't be swearing in the chapters in Phil's POV, but any chapters were we focus on Dan or Jack or anyone who swears will have excessive swearing._


	2. Lie 2

**_I hate you!_**

As Phil woke me up in his pyjamas he contemplated skipping school today. He of course hadn't done his homework, but was considered a perfect student, even though he done badly in exams, there was no reason for him to be considered a good student, if anybody was a perfect student, it was Dan. Straight A's. Even though he was strongly against the idea of going to that hell hole, he couldn't miss another lesson, or his mother would be angrier than last time he got a warning and was suspended. But Phil usually wouldn't care about stuff like that. But this time he did. He wouldn't go as far as to say he would cry if he did get a punishment, but he didn't want it.

As Phil walked to school he noticed Mark Fischbach was driving in his sports car alone, without Jack, which was surprising, and reminded himself that he had to go get Dan. As he knocked on the door, he thought about maybe he didn't want to do this, maybe he would actually tell Dan his feelings, but Phil wasn't like that, because Phil wasn't the type to do that. "Hey Phil!" The upbeat teenager stayed as he opened his door and walked out. They were now officially a 'fake-couple' whatever that meant. He noticed Jack walking to school alone, as he lived on the same street as Dan, he seemed really sad, but Phil didn't try to console the usually energetic and positive Irishman, because Phil wasn't like that, he didn't usually notice when things went horribly wrong, maybe that's why his previous relationship flopped, but he noticed then that he lied to himself by promising himself no more relationships."Hey," a rather depressing tone of voice said to Phil and Dan,"Hey Jack, what's wrong?" Phil heard Dan ask the green haired fifteen year old but wasn't really paying enough attention to the conversation the boy was having with his 'boyfriend',

"Okay, bye!" He heard Dan end the conversation as the walked into the gates of the school and saw Jack make his way, instead of his boyfriend, towards Felix, and saw him collapse into his arms, but instead of looking towards Jack's problem, he was looking at how Dan had interlocked their hands, to anybody who didn't attend last night's party, or was simply too drunk to remember, they were a couple, and even though they were fake, and wouldn't be making out randomly, they were a couple. And Phil failed to notice that, because he tried to distance himself away from Dan, as much as possible but for them still to be considered a couple.

He had first period science with Bob Muyskens, he wasn't particularly good friends with the guy, but they got along, but they probably wouldn't like Phil if he knew what he had done,"Phil Lester?" He heard Mr McLaughlin call his name, he didn't like him at all, he favoured Rhett and Link above every other student because he was Rhett's dad,"Here," Phil lazily called out when Mr McLaughlin called his name, even though he was super nice, he didn't like him,"Hey, do you know what happened to Jack?" He asked Bob, as they sat together,"I'm not sure, I'll ask Mark at recess," Bob whispered back to Phil, he nodded and turned back towards the interactive board, on which there was a detailed diagram of a nerve cell, and he proceeded to copy what it said into his notebook, in which he never drew in, even though half the time he was supposed to have a 'detailed diagram' of nerve endings.

At lunch he sat with Dan at his table with one of his best friends, Pj, but Phil didn't care for his friends, he always lied to himself when it came to that sort of thing, that's why he was surprised when a surprisingly quiet Irishman asked to sit, there were tear stains all over his cheeks, he seemed devastated, and Phil thought he knew what had happened, as Jack seemed traumatised,

"I-I came t-to say I-I'm moving s-schools," he said then left the table, he seemed so happy yesterday at the party, Phil thought to himself, Dan then leant over to Phil,"Hey, did Jack tell you what happened," he whispered to Phil, he immediately shook his head, as he had no idea,

"Mark f*cking Fischbach, that's what happened," he said the name bitterly, and Phil wondered what the teen had done to Jack, but Phil decided that he didn't care, because Phil doesn't care, at least that's what Phil told himself, when in reality he cared, he cared a lot, and that's why Phil will never stop being himself, being a 'liar' because he lied to himself without even knowing, and he couldn't stop.

But Phil didn't care, he knew that he shouldn't care, but he couldn't help being curious what Mark 'f*cking' Fischbach had done, he knew that now lots of people were calling him that, because when they saw Jack this morning, Phil knew that they could guess that it had something to do with Mark, but did Phil do anything, considering Jack was one of his boyfriends closest friends, but he didn't care, but he did care, even if he didn't show it, because he thought that he didn't need to, because at the moment, many of Jack's friends were confronting him, including Felix, Jack's best friend, Jack had many friends, but only one really close one, and of course Mark 'f*cking' Fischbach, but something serious must have happened if he was moving schools. But Phillip Lester didn't want to be included in the commotion that followed that drama.

Because Phil didn't care. And that was the truth. But it wasn't Phil did care, and he did want to find out why Jack had been like that, and why he kept his hood up all day, and at that moment Phil noticed that he did care, and he had been lying to himself.

"Do you wanna go somewhere else?" He heard another British accent, other than his own, ask him,"No," he answered truthfully, he didn't want to go with the teen that he loved but didn't show it, and lied to himself about it,"Why not?" He saw Dan ask him, his face showed confusion, but his eyes showed frustration and love,"Because I don't want to go! I hate you! I've always hated you!" Phil shouted at the sixteen year old in front of him, he knew no one could here him because of how loud the commotion at the other side of the cafeteria was, he saw tears in his boyfriends eyes and heard him say one last word before storming of, "Fine," Phil was left by himself as Pj had left earlier, he saw Jack sitting by himself at a table. Phil decided that it was for the best, walking towards his next class which he had with Jack.


	3. Lie 3

**_It's not like I care!_**

As Phil walked back to school the next day, he couldn't help feeling bad about what he had said to Dan at lunch, he knew that he probably hurt his feelings, but did Phil care? Well usually when asking that question, the answer is no, but Phil did care, and that's why he knocked on Dan's door the next day and apologised. Honestly, Phil didn't know why he was suddenly being honest, why he suddenly stopped lying, but he didn't like it.

Phil didn't know why nobody had told him about the new student, Matthew, he seemed out going and started talking to a boy named Nathan, with which Phil had never even thought about talking to. But the minute he walked in he noticed something else was wrong, there was no constant Irish accent in his ears, and there was no Mark either, apparently people had found out what Mark Fischbach had done. And Phil knew that he wouldn't even think of doing that, and everyone thought Mark was so loving. But that didn't matter as Phil was running late to his first class on the other side of the huge campus, and he didn't want to miss another class of Social Studies, even if he never had his homework done, which everyone was used to by now, this had been ages ago. He decided to actually pay attention in this class, and listen to the teacher.

"As you have noticed we have a student missing from our class right now, Jack McLoughlin, who had moved school," at that moment Phil stopped listening to what Mrs Holland was saying, he didn't really care, everyone was talking about how Jack McLoughlin was missing from the campus, as he had only told a select few about what was going to happen.

"Why did Jack leave?" He asked Dan who was sitting right beside him,

"'Significant Trauma', according to his parents," he heard Dan reply, he knew that that matched up to what the school was saying and why Mark 'f*cking' Fischbach was absent from class, but it wasn't like Phil cared, no, he didn't care, he was just very curious, to the point of seeming like he cared,

"Why did you even ask?" Dan asked our 'hero' and Phil just replied with the most 'Phil like' thing to say at the moment,

"No reason, it's not like I care!" He whisper shouted to his boyfriend.

"Just asking," Phil noticed a slightly offended Dan answer, he thinks that maybe he went too harsh, but that wasn't really a thing that he cared about at the moment, he only really cared about finding out if the rumours were true, and who else to ask, than the man himself... Sean 'Jack' McLoughlin. But there was one quite significant thing that stopped him from doing exactly that, he had no idea where he lived and what school he went to now, but Phil wasn't going to do anything about it, he just has ideas and completely 'forgets' about them, because that's the type of person Phil was, it was in his nature.

"Alright, class dismissed," Mrs Holland ended and the whole class got up, Phil was one of the many people who tried to rush out the door, as he wanted to find out what had happened to Mark Fischbach, as he wasn't in school all day.

"Hey Dan, Phil," he heard Pj say as they walked up to their lunch table, which was in the far corner of the cafeteria,"Hey Pj," Phil and Dan said together, and as they said that Pj burst out laughing."Whatup," Pj answered their synchronisation, and his blackish brown hair started flopping over his eyes from laughing,"Not much," Phil lied. This time he knew he was lying and he felt great, it was good to have some control over your body, despite wanting to lie all the time, he was like that unfortunately.

"Pj, where does McLoughlin live?" He asked his best friend, though everyone else at the school who didn't really know them wouldn't have thought they were close,"Uh.. 49 Puzzle Street, I think," Pj answered his friend. Getting his answer Phil nodded and turned away to walk to class, his French teacher absolutely hated if somebody was late to class, especially Phil.

French was over, Math was over, Science was over and Music was over. The rest of the day was free from unnecessary information, though the information Phil would receive soon would be more unnecessary than what he didn't learn in school. 49 Puzzle Street read the address in front of Phil and he decided to knock on the door, he seemed so sad but Phil didn't care, Phil couldn't care, he was Phil Lester, and Phil Lester doesn't care about anyone. Knocking, Phil took a deep breath and calmed his nerves,"Hello? How may I help you?" The woman before him asked, she was beautiful, long, curly brown hair and kind blue eyes that perfectly resembled her son's,"Hello Mrs. McLoughlin, I'm here to see Jack? I'm a friend from his old school," Phil answered, giving a sickly sweet smile that would sicken even the Joker. But not Shauna McLoughlin, she just smiled kindly at Phil,"Why of course dear, the second door on the right upstairs," the woman answered before letting Phil in and closing the door behind him.

Phil Lester knocked on the second door on the right, Jacks mother didn't really have to tell him, there was graffiti all over the door and in the middle he saw the name 'Jack'. He knocked on the door and walked in, what greeted him was a horrifying sight that made even Phil Lester, the boy who didn't care want to puke, an empty pill bottle in hand and knife plunged in heart, to ensure death, was Sean William 'Jack' McLoughlin.

Phil noticed the note that was wrapped tightly in his hand, the hand that was holding the pill bottle. Running over to the lifeless body of Sean McLoughlin, he ripped the note out of his hand. It indeed had the explanation Philip was looking for, but not in the format he wanted. Running out, Phil tried to keep a panic attack at bay. Because at that moment, Phil noticed that he did actually care.


End file.
